so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
