That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
