I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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