oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
