You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Help. Why am I so naked?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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