Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
