I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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