So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
