I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Did I show you my penis last night?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
