Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
