if only i could text you this smell
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
