I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
no you cant smoke seaweed
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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