I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you inspire me to be a worse person
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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