eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
