every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So much Jack, so little girl.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
