I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
