His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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