meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
