it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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