call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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