His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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