I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
