Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
