Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
