Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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