it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
