Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Randomize
