Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
