... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
