blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
