Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm like, not good at living.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
