so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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