true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
