Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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