yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
