Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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