you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
