Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
