That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
