why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
