just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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