I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
