Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
