you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
