no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
