I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
