literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
The air taste purple.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
