Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
