youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So vagazzling was a success
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
