i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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