but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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